Power-reversal games
Giving your child a sense of power and control through playful role reversals
At 18 months, my daughter was afraid of spiders. She was even scared of a purple rubbery spider toy whose legs had fallen off. All that was left of him was a round body and a smile. She called him ‘Bub-Bub’. My wife would take Bub-Bub and chase me around the room with it as I cried out in mock fear. Emboldened, my daughter would grab Bub-Bub and scuttle after me, laughing delightedly as I pretended to run away. This simple power-reversal game gave her the courage to face her fear in a safe and playful way.
Materials needed
- A toy or object that can playfully represent something your child fears or struggles with.
- Pillows (optional, for mock battles).
Instructions
- Identify the situation. Choose an object or theme related to a fear or frustration your child is experiencing, such as a scary toy or the idea of losing control.
- Reverse the roles. Pretend to be scared, weak, or clumsy, giving your child the upper hand in the game.
- Invite her to take charge. Encourage her to chase you, “defeat” you in a pillow fight, or use the toy to “control” you.
- Exaggerate your reactions. Make your fear or failure comically obvious, enhancing the fun and her sense of power.
Tips
- Follow her lead. Let her decide how the game progresses and when to stop.
- Keep it safe. Ensure that the play remains lighthearted and doesn’t reinforce actual fear or aggression.
- Celebrate her strength. Use the opportunity to validate her bravery and creativity.
Expected outcome
- Empowerment. Your child feels a sense of control and strength in situations that might otherwise make her feel powerless.
- Confidence building. Role reversals encourage her to confront fears and frustrations playfully.
- Stronger bond. Sharing these moments strengthens your connection and builds trust.
Why this works
Power-reversal games address your child’s natural need for agency by flipping the usual power dynamic. By pretending to be weaker or less capable, you create a space where she can feel strong and in control. This helps her process fears and frustrations in a playful, non-threatening way, building resilience and self-assurance.
Final word
Power-reversal games turn vulnerability into strength, helping your child face fears and frustrations with confidence. By creating a playful environment where she takes the lead, you nurture her independence and resilience. Try it the next time she feels overwhelmed, and let me know how it works for you in the comments below.
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