Commitment devices: keeping your promise to play

Imagine this: Your child walks past her tablet without a second glance, heading straight for her Play Kit instead. She's not doing this because you've asked her to - she's doing it because breaking her commitment to play would feel harder than following through.

This is the power of commitment devices - tools that help us stick to our intentions by making it more costly to break them.

Understanding commitment devices

Commitment devices work by increasing the cost of breaking a commitment - whether that's through social accountability, time constraints, or environmental design. For example, if you tell a friend you'll meet them for a run, you're more likely to follow through because you don't want to let them down. The same principle can be applied to screen-free habits at home.

When we make it more difficult (emotionally, socially, or practically) to reach for screens, and create accountability for play, we help our children develop stronger play habits.

Why traditional approaches often fail

Perhaps you've tried:

• Setting strict screen time limits
• Creating detailed schedules
• Making rules about when screens are allowed

But rules and schedules often fail because they rely on willpower alone. They don't create any real cost to breaking them beyond parent disapproval.

Commitment devices work differently. They create meaningful consequences that make it harder to abandon play in favour of screens.

Understanding your child's sense of time

Before we explore specific commitment devices, we need to understand something crucial about young children: they live in the present moment. When we ask a four-year-old to commit to "an hour of play before screens" or "no tablets until after lunch," we're asking her to understand concepts she hasn't yet developed.

Think about it: How many times has your young child asked "Is it lunchtime yet?" just minutes after breakfast? Or insisted "But you said five minutes!" when it's been barely thirty seconds?

This isn't defiance - it's development. Your child's sense of time develops gradually:

• At age 3-4, she might understand "after breakfast" or "before bed" but struggles with hours and minutes
• At age 5-6, she begins to grasp longer time periods but still finds waiting challenging
• By age 7-8, she can better understand and plan for future events

This matters for commitment devices. When we ask young children to commit to time-based goals, we're setting them up for frustration and confusion. Instead, focus on immediate, visible commitments: