Non-directive play

Helping your child feel valued and in control through open-ended play

I'm sitting on the floor.

My son is next to me, deeply engrossed in play.

His wooden railway stretches out across the room, the incomplete track taking a wrong turn, the two ends destined never to be united.

I bite my lip.

Silently, I offer another piece and he continues to build. His furrowed brow tells me sees the problem, too.

Still, I say nothing. Here's a better piece, my outstretched hand seems to say. It curves left, it will complete the loop.

No, the tunnel, he airly responds with a gesture towards the unused sections.

That won't get you back to the start, I think.

But I keep my ideas to myself.

There are times when a gentle nudge, some scaffolding as Bruner would say, would help him to extend his understanding. I could help him update his mental representation of open loops and how to close them.

But today is not that day.

Today I am his companion, his co-conspirator. I am younger child, a subordinate, and my job is to do his bidding.

Non-directive play is a powerful way to build trust and reduce stress by allowing your child to take the lead in play. By following her cues without judgment or interference, you create a safe environment where she feels respected, empowered, and free to express herself. This type of play strengthens your bond and supports her emotional well-being.